The Pre-Count Down Entry

So...tomorrow our Article 5 letter will be picked up and delivered to the CCWAA for TRAVEL APPROVAL.  This starts the big countdown!!!  The families ahead of us on RQ look to be about 14 days from p/u of Article 5 to the TA mark----woohoo!

If I could just get the rest of this darn paperwork together...

MY HEAD HURTS

My head doesn't physically hurt-but it has been spinning so much lately that I need a break from this emotional roller coaster of adoption (let me clarify---I don't want a break from the adoption itself, just the "waiting purgatory," as someone very accurately deemed it). 

There are so many more similarities that I see every week between being pregnant and being stuck in this purgatory of waiting for another country to coordinate with the US so that we may be granted approval to travel. 

Today I would like to address the fact that I feel as though I have a pregnancy-hormone imbalance.  The emotions I feel on any given day can range from: 

• Intense despair (when I think about what this little girl is going to have to go through when she is wrenched away from her foster family, from the only family she has known since she was 4 months old, and thrown with these crazy white people who don't speak a word of Chinese-that is a hard language to master, let me say just for the record)
• Hope (that we can give her a good life full of love and craziness, a better future, potential, possibilities, freedom.  and a Disney trip here and there...)
• Fear (will we be good parents?  can we handle months/years of grieving, bonding and attachment issues?  how will this affect our present family?  will she ever LIKE us??  will she have night terrors?  will she like Sam?  (kidding-who DOESN'T like Sam) and the big one: so now I really will have to cook even MORE...ugh) 
• Complete and utter excitement (she is ours.  we are hers.  forever!  we are doing her room.  bought her some clothes.  ANOTHER GIRL!!!  read all the recommended books to help with grieving, bonding, attachment, general international adoption "stuff."  we are having a 4th!!!  have I mentioned how CUTE she is???)
  
• Anxiousness and anxiety (when will we get TA?  when will our consulate appointment be?  when will we travel?  why can't anyone give me a date-week-month-anything-some kind of estimate of WHEN we will go?!!??!??  will the Canton Trade Fair screw up our timeframe?  will we get decent flights and have a little space on the flight??  is something going to go wrong?  I have to fly - over the ocean - a looooong way over the ocean...  will I get to China (and live through the flight, first) and have the wrong paperwork, and totally screw this up?  will China suddenly stop adoptions tomorrow?  will our agency go bankrupt before we complete the process?  (no indications of such-but our first agency did, right at a critical point and we had to re-do all of our paperwork, so this is a justified anxiety, in my opinion) will I be organized enough to have all the docs I need and do the right thing at the right time?  how about that ride home with a 46 month old who will probably still hate me for wrenching her from the only family she's known...???)
• Faith. I have to trust that if we feel this strongly about anything, God is leading us and it is just meant to be.  And all will be just fine.  Maybe not next month, maybe not in a couple months-but at some point, she'll adjust, and we'll adjust, and it will be amazing.  And that gives me peace.

However, each time I feel peace, I run through all the above 5 emotions first. :)

Fuyang, Anhui

I finally found a Yahoo Group that is specifically for families who have adopted/are adopting from Zoey's SWI.  Only 4 of us in that group-and 2 are married to each other.  Not really a high-traffic orphanage.  I have heard that this orphanage will not permit us to visit, but just in case, we have asked permission to see it-odds are that she will be driven 3 1/2 hours to meet us on what will likely be her first car ride and last time she will see her caregivers.   

In the Yahoo Group there are 9 pictures.  The first one is entitled "Laundry"-it shows 2 women washing clothes in baskets in a river; the orphanage is in the background.  There is another of a bathroom-looks more like an outhouse with barred windows.  And one of a pig.  Several of the orphanage buildings and one picture of a child on a circular slide.  There are dirt roads, old stone/brick walls, some chickens along the roadside.  Very different from our little piece of Ohio. (Well, except the slide and the chickens-but no corn as far as I could tell.  Haha.)

We have heard, and truly hope this is accurate-that Zoey is blessed to be in a home where her foster family loves her like CRAZY.  Not to mention a family of 5 right now who cannot wait to meet her and love her already like CRAZY.

Say a little prayer for her to get through the transition.  And for us to have patience and guide us to do what we need to do to help her through it-we KNOW it will be rough.  We won't smell familiar, look familiar, nor will we speak the same language.  She will basically be dropped on our laps.  Forever.  My heart aches already to think of all of the transitions she will soon go through, but I know it is what needs to happen for her to bond and attach to us.

I did get confirmation that the Article 5 was dropped off on February 7th, to be picked up on the 21st.  We can expect TA 2-4 weeks after that, and travel 10-21 days later.   I CAN'T WAIT TO MEET MY DAUGHTER!!!

Carpal Tunnel

I have been attempting to fill out the visa applications for Jenna and me for several hours now-taking the photos, editing the photos and printing the photos on 123passportphoto.com, reading the instructions on how to fill out the visa apps, gathering info, typing typing typing it all in, etc...  I am so excited to finally bring home Miss Zoey for obvious reasons, but I also have to admit that I might have to have a mini celebration to signify the end of the Great Paper Chase.  I am just sayin...

In the end-TOTALLY worth it.

Nesting Nesting Nesting!!!!

We are one step closer to bringing Miss Zoey home.  Friday the 3rd of February we received word that our NVC letter for Zoey has been cabled to the US Consulate in Guangzhou, China.  Now we are waiting for our Article 5 letter to be issued from there, where someone from our agency had delivered it last week (2/7) along with our DS-230 application and LOA.  This letter is basically the US's way to say all our paperwork is complete and we can proceed with the adoption.  Our Article 5 letter should be ready for pick up on Tuesday the 21st (takes about 2 weeks).  From there-it goes directly to the CCWAA, and we wait for Travel Approval from China!  Once we get the sought-after and esteemed TA, our agency requests a US Consulate appointment (CA) and our travel dates are set-we leave less than 2 weeks before that appointment for Beijing.  Crazy-we are really getting there!

So... I have to say that this nesting thing is truly not just for those who are about to deliver.  I am totally nesting.  I have bought bedding, lights, pillows, decorations, night light, wall decals, and clothes.  I have bought a new backpack for me for the trip, started my insane packing list (that I will have to seriously edit as we get closer), and I have been reading everything I can get my hands on to prepare me for this amazing journey-books on grieving children, attachment, general travel and adoption resource books.  I am also cooking (yes, preparing food - for those of you who know me, you probably know the wonder in this statement--I absolutely hate to cook, but really I have no choice).  Megs and I have also found the cutest little leggings, pj's, t-shirts, skirts, and cute little owl underwear.  Jenna and Molly picked out a cute little red tutu.  Flipping adorable.  Really, I haven't bought her too much-but it makes it real.  It is kinda cool to see how little she is going to be-those clothes are so tiny!  Also bought an Ergo carrier this week, got my SLR camera fixed and cleaned, bought new batteries for the camera, stickers and fun stuff to put in Zoey's backpack for the trip, and purchased some laundry packets and more of that kind of travel stuff.  Amazon should make me its poster child.  I think the UPS man is starting to make friends with the family.  Ha!  Apparently, my stellar timing was a bit off this past summer when I purged all the "young girl" toys, clothes, jogging stroller, etc...  I have to admit that the "restocking" has been fun-keeps me going.

We have (finally) decided on travel-just Jenna and I will go.  She is almost 13 and more responsible than most 16-year olds I know, and will be a great traveling companion for me.  She told me she is very excited to have me all to herself for a couple days, and then share me with Zoey-traveling a half a world away for 2 whole weeks.  Not sure it can get any better than that-my days of having Jenna all to myself are numbered-college is right around the corner... (well, not really, but time flies around here).  I have filled her in on variations of how this could go, and the potential issues we'll face as Zoey transitions into our family.  She is up for the task and I think she's going to do wonderfully.   I do think she'll come back a different person.  When I was 12 we were in Tokyo-that was a life-changing experience for me, and some of the best years of my pre-married/pre-kids life. And, with her magnetic personality, I am hoping she'll make the transition for Zoey a little less rough.  

Poor girl-the thought of putting her through all of the grief and pain that she is going to have to go through makes me very sad.  But I know it is a process she (and we) have to go through to integrate us into our family of 6.  Still makes me a little weepy when I really get to thinking about it-at 3 and a half years old she has to say goodbye forever to her foster family with whom she's been since she was 4 months old...and they have to say goodbye to her. 

Which is another thing-like a pregnancy, I am so emotional.  I tear up at radio commercials (pre-baby trademark for me), cry at the drop of a pin (not bad crying-good, but more of the amazed-at-this-incredible-opportunity-in-front-of-us kind of crying), and find myself totally scatterbrained, probably because I am so preoccupied...at work I do a little better-I can focus on my tasks.  At home-I am a little off-kilter even if we are running around like crazed maniacs.   

It still doesn't feel real...but the neatest thing-I have been following some families' experiences who are a couple months ahead of us in this process.  It is amazing.  Truly amazing.  

People have congratulated us and told us what a "great thing" we are doing.  It is kind of funny-I can see it that way, but I am more excited for her to be a part of our family and experience what she will bring to us, not us to her.   These children are so strong-I hope I am up to the task of being as good of a mom to her as she deserves.  

Going to say another prayer for Zoey-we are going to rock her world soon.  And she is going to rock ours.  

A little message from NVC arrived in my inbox this morning...

A little message arrived in my inbox this morning from the National Visa Center that they have cabled our approval letter to the US Consulate in Guangzhou!

Time to get Zoey's bedding, paint her room, maybe get a pretty rug, gather size 3 and 4 clothes, start packing....!

I just figured out how to load a photo-this is Miss Duo Duo's referral pic-this is the very picture that I opened on my computer on November 8th when we saw her little adorable face for the very first time!

And this is a late December 2011 photo that our agency provided to us in an update on 12/29/11.  What a sweetie!

Here We Go!

Here we go!  The process is starting to spin faster and faster, but it still seems the days last forever-trying to get through the minutes of researching the next process, obsessing trying to guess what our time frame might be, wondering what Zoey is doing and if she knows she has a whole family out in Middle America eagerly waiting for her to come join them… 

Yesterday we received word that immigration issued our I800 approval! This is basically our approval from USCIS (United States Immigration, Department of  Homeland Security) to adopt the soon-to-be-known-as-little-Miss Zoey B.
So-we have both countries in agreement-China approved us with our LOA, and now the United States approved us with action on our I800!!!

Apparently this is kind of a done deal, but I am still a little tense that all will go well.  Having a little set back a couple years ago with a certain agency going bankrupt brings a little anxiety into the picture that it will happen again…or that something might produce a hiccup, but we have faith that all will work out.  There is more paper shuffling that has to be done for the next 8 or so weeks-we are looking to have our approval cabled to the US Consulate in Guangzhou, China, then our Article 5 letter will be issued by the U.S. Embassy, basically signing off on our visa application for Zoey stating that it meets the qualifications for an immigrant visa, and then the US Embassy signs off that everything is in order for the adoption to be completed.  THEN, China gives us travel approval (the coveted TA!!)-and we leave 2-4 weeks from that point.

Luckily, with the exception of figuring out who is going to travel, setting up travel plans, getting visas, packing, doing the room, shopping for clothes and a car seat, etc…, most of the paperwork is done.  Whew.  Never thought we’d get this far.  We have a lot of people to thank for all of the support they have given to us-especially since we seem to need a Paperwork 101 class. 

Bottom line: if my estimates are correct, I’ll be in China in less than 3 months!  (Actually, the way that things are moving, might be sooner!!)

Another important piece of the puzzle also arrived yesterday-Nikon has fixed my camera and returned it to me in working order.  With my new 16GB card, I am ready to go!

Gotta go-that nesting thing happens even with adoptions, too.  :)