Settling in, sibling rivalry, and a lot of cuteness.

I am dead serious when I say that Zoey is doing great, and we all adore her.  I know I keep saying this, but she is absolutely a doll.  I love her personality-she is so sweet and very gentle, but can totally hold her own against the other 3 and won't take any crap from them.  

We had our appointment with specialists at the International Adoption Clinic in Cincinnati-we are so lucky to be 25 minutes away from these people.  They were wonderful.  Met with the nurse practitioner for an hour-went over her history in China, her brief history with us, development, health issues, etc...  We also met with an OT who did an OT/PT/ST evaluation.  We then met with Dr. Staat - who was amazingly wonderful.  She performed a thorough check up and answered a lot of questions about Zoey's palate.  But we weren't done yet-we stayed to meet with a social worker/therapist who got the run-down on our family issues, sleep habits, attachment updates, etc...

The verdict: so far, she is "unusually healthy" for a former orphan from China.  On the phone with the clinic when I made the appointment, I was warned that "most adopted children from China have delays...nutritional deficits... blah blah blah" and we were told that once she is here for a while and eating well, we would notice such a difference in her appearance, her hair will become shiny and soft, she will someday be on the growth charts, etc...  The result of the meeting with all of these professionals:  she is in great shape, she is already on the US growth charts (between 25-50% in her stats), her hair and nails show how wonderful her nutrition has been, and really she is adjusting very well. 

After those meetings she received another TB test, a shot, then we headed down to the lab for a blood draw where they took NINE VIALS OF BLOOD.  Poor kid-this was after they weren't able to find a vein and had to re-stick her little arms several times-but she is made it out of there without too many tears (we did have some).  I was the "rescuer" for the shot, TB test and the blood draw-nothing like terror and follow up comfort to help with the mother-daughter bond.  Lol.  Poor kid. 

On our way home we stopped at P. F. Changs - where I ordered her some noodles and some steamed shrimp dumplings.  She woke up from her little nap on my shoulder (more cuddling) and the first thing she did was hunt around for her chopsticks.  They were adult-size chopsticks, not the child-size, starter chopsticks that she is best at maneuvering.  But she wanted nothing to do with the fork.  She would not let me cut her dumplings into more manageable sizes.  For those of you who have had steamed dumplings, you may know that they are very slippery-and fairly difficult to manage with those shiny, sleek chopsticks.  This is especially difficult for a 3.5 year old girl who is trying to grip them at the top of her giant adult-sized slick plastic chopsticks.  I have to give her credit-the determination she showed was quite impressive.  Most kids (and adults) would have given up after the first couple tries.  Even after the dumpling slipped out of the chop sticks and onto the plate, the table, and nearly hit her lap a couple times (I caught it both times before it went south of the table), she wanted no help from us.  I was waiting for it to go airborne and hit the people at the next table-but they remained safe.  While trying to hold back a giggle by biting my lip, I tried to eat my own lunch and not focus on the stubborn but adorable girl next to me attempting to control the out-of-control dumpling, even if it meant she would go hungry by doing so.  But when she did master it, she ate the whole thing.  And then another.  We were quite impressed.

Prior to this, Bryan pulled out his chopsticks-she gave him "the look," grabbed the chopsticks from him, turned one around (he was apparently going to violate a code by eating with the wrong end of one of the chopsticks).  She then leveled them so the points were even, and handed them back to Bryan.  Nothing like a nearly-4 year old giving you a lesson on how to eat.  It was very, very funny...

At another lunch with Bryan, this time at Thai 9 in Dayton, she refused to eat when they brought the food.  She looked at Bryan and pointed her 2 forefingers out, then bumped her hands together so that her parallel forefingers touched-apparently she wanted chopsticks.  Very cute.  Even without mastering the English language yet, we totally understand where she is coming from.  Most of the time.  Really, almost all of the time.  We haven't really had to use the Google Translate lately.  In fact, we've noticed lately that she really only speaks Mandarin when she is either very mad, or very excited.  For the most part, she is rehearsing the English that she knows.  Which right now consists of expressions such as "What are you doing?," "stop it," "awesome," the kids' names, and "me" (which can be used to indicate mine, me, the possessive "Zoey's" and "don't forget about ME").  She made the transition today to say "potty" and "hungry," which before this was either the Mandarin version of the words or was our version of sign language/charades.

We seem to be continuing in the right direction in terms of bonding and attachment.  She is really taken with Bryan.  Me-we are working on it.  She calls me "mom," "mommy" and "mama" and we are making a ton of headway in terms of breaking down the walls.  But, I have had to go into work and I notice on those days, I am punished for my absence.  I do remember this from the other 3, but with her it makes me a little more sad-two steps forward, 1 step back.

We did have 2 noticeable setbacks recently-both involving pictures on the iPad.  Since her cleft lip surgery was coordinated and funded by Love Without Boundaries, we were able to, and have, requested her files from LWB.  Amazingly, LWB has emailed us pictures, orphanage reports, medical reports, and one report a month since she was 4 months old, consisting of 4-6 pages of a narrative, pictures, medical updates, development updates, and input from the foster mom.  I did figure out that she was very close with her foster brother, which explains a little of why she is so taken with Sam.  In these LWB updates, there are a lot of pictures, and frequently include Zoey and her foster mom or brother.  As I receive them, I am trying to load the pictures on my iPad.  Apparently, Bryan is doing the same thing.  About a week and a half ago, Zoey was scrolling through my iPad, went to the photos and started looking at pictures of herself.  She found one of her foster mom.  She stopped, stared at it, then moved to the next one, which was also of the foster mom.  She again stopped, stared at it, and then shut the iPad down.  She didn't speak to me until the next afternoon.

This past week a similar incident occurred.  Bryan had given her his iPad in the car to entertain herself while they drove to the parent lunch at Meghan's school.  She had been playing Angry Birds, but when he looked back, he noticed a tear rolling down one of her cheeks.  He asked her if she was okay, and she replied "kan" (loosely means look at this/look at me).  When he stopped the car, she held out the iPad and showed him the group picture of her orphanage friends with their foster moms.  She had zoomed in on herself and her foster mom.  She looked at it again.  He held his hand out to take the iPad, but she clutched it to her chest and crossed her arms over it.  She was a little quiet for a while, he said, but she did well at lunch.  When they got back into the car after lunch, she went right for the iPad and back to the pictures, only this time she looked at the ones on there with her new family.

We are settling in pretty well-she really has been doing great.  She still favors Sam the most, but gets along really well with the girls.  She is still not overly crazy about dogs-but is getting better.  She LOVES the bathtub and the shower, she is doing better with milk (vanilla soy milk has been a hit), and eats pretty much anything I give to her - except I actually got an "Ew, yuck!" when I offered her a PB&J sandwich (hmm... wonder where she learned that expression-SAM!).  Noodles are still her favorite, and she prefers chopsticks.  We had a stand off where she did not believe she needed a helmet while riding on her scooter (our driveway has a fairly significant incline), and I had to take the scooter away because she refused to use the helmet.  She has since seen my way and wears her helmet every time she steps foot on the scooter-and screams "helmet" to the kids if they aren't wearing theirs.

She spent some time with the sitter last week, and screamed bloody murder when I left her for the first time.  Kim said that she went to change another child and heard the deadbolt on the front door unlock - there was Zoey, trying to escape.  After about 45 minutes she calmed down and did much better.  We had gone over there several times to familiarize her with the place, Kim and the kids (Morgan, my niece, also goes there), but I think when I left, even though I explained to her what was going on and she understood-that was just too much.  A couple hours later, when I went to pick her up, she was dancing and singing with the other kids.  And when I brought her to my work she skipped out of the car and was so charming with me, it was hilarious.  While at Kim's, she had eaten a PB sandwich with no fights (monster) and played well with the kids. She was quite the hit.

I will keep trying to post some updates here and there.  I am amazed every day at who has read this and am so glad we've had a lot of people walking with us in this journey.  We are so blessed!

I am pretty sure this is near the Chinese New Year her first year-she was about 6 months old.  That is her with her foster mom.

 I had these in order before I uploaded them, but it did its own thing when I loaded them on the Blog. 

I can't get over this coat!  This is her official "Chinese New Year coat" from that year.

The LWB reports were a little tough to read-the listed any concerns that the Foster Mom would report.  Consistently, from about 18 months on, every month the Foster Mom would indicate she was concerned Zoey would be given up for adoption, since they loved her so much and she fit so well in their family. 

This is the group picture she was looking at last week on the iPad-of a lot of kids from either LWB or her orphanage with their foster parents. 

November or October, 2011

Cute cute cute.  About 15 months old.  And for the record, there is a DOG in the background.

About 9 months old, I think.  Look at those cheeks.

4 months old and soon after her surgery. 

1 week old.  The picture's information matches with the date they found her. 

The Michelin Baby - multilayering it up in Fuyang.  That is the foster brother behind her to the left.  I have to point out that recently, she refuses to wear a coat.  She now prefers short sleeves and only 1 layer - sometimes 2, despite it being a little chilly here lately.

About a year old.  On a scale-with her toy.  I might be a little biased, but she is so cute!

Her creations-and her name in her handwriting there on the left.  She drew both, and Jenna showed her how to color her drawing in on the right. She did the left.  We have labeled a couple things (toothbrushes, bins, etc...) and she gets such a kick out of it-she'll look at them every time and say "Zoey." 

Another Dragon's game-hamming it up after the game.

A new purple coat photo from LWB.  About December of 2011.

At my work after the near-escape from the sitter's.  She is showing me how she can color with 2 hands and 2 different coloring books.  lol

The Epilogue.

Thanks to all of you for the encouraging words about this Blog.  I am glad so many people followed along in our journey and have been "with us" in spirit.  I have actually been asked if I am going to continue to update the Blog-while I don't plan to update on a daily basis, I think I will try to update it occasionally-at least until we get settled.  The computer/internet/VPN issues really made it challenging to maintain after the first week in China, but I am really glad I kept posting.  Already, the days and events are running together in my memory, but this record enables me to remember with detail all the wonderful experiences we had in China.  I guess the title of this is really inaccurate, because an epilogue means closure, and I don't think this will be the end.  I would still like to capture some of the funny (and trying) moments we have and will have as we grow as a family, so look for more posts on occasion. 

I would like to say that somehow I avoided jet lag both ways.  I am either really lucky, or my strategy that I learned while I was traveling to and from Asia as a kid really did work.  I used that same strategy with Zoey on the way home and it worked with her as well - she seemed to escape the jet lag trap.  How did Jenna do?  Well-that is a totally different story. Little Miss I-Am-Going-to-Watch-Movies-the-Whole-Way-Home was exhausted and was a complete zombie on Easter, the day after we returned.  She slept from about 9 p.m. on Easter, through Monday (she did wake up and was ugly ugly ugly, so I told her to go back to bed and not say another word), and she woke up Tuesday all refreshed and ready for school. 

We are home and settling in-though not much of a routine this week because Sam and Megs had spring break-we did go to the museum, the Cinci Zoo, and we all hung out and played all day.  She had a blast with them home, and they totally love her to death. 

Cinci Zoo

Loves her gogurt

I told them to look scared-these are their scarey faces...  hmmm...

How cute is this.

Waiting for the train at the Zoo.

We are still working on the meaning of the word "cheese" before I snap a picture.  Lol.

Loved the train ride.

No one put her up to the first kiss to Sam-but then we made her do it again so I could snap a picture.  Cute cute cute!

Playing with Morgan after dinner tonight.

Cousins  (check out who Morgan is watching...)

These pictures are out of order-but I am not going to spend another half hour re-sorting them.  This was on Easter morning-the day after we arrived in the US.

We were laughing-she probably thought this was great.  "I get to wake up every morning and look for a basket full of candy and presents.  I get to then eat the chocolate and play with the toys.  Then we go to someone else's house and do it all again, with more candy and presents." 

Easter morning, again.  My 3 older kids in their floods-they've all grown so much this winter...

I simply looked up "your color is orange" on the translate app and that was all she needed to start the Easter egg hunt.  She understood what to do-was pretty impressive.  She loved it!

Shopping with mom.  She ran right to this cart-I forgot how difficult these crazy carts were to steer.  Think I gave her whiplash.

Zoey's first Dragon's game.

Xbox.  She loves it!

Joining in the wrestling with Ba ba.

Our first official family photo, taken Friday at my sis' home. 

Friends of ours had a little welcome home party for Zoey on Saturday-it was great!  4 families and 17 kids.  She actually did well-hung with the kids Sam's age for a while, then would come and sit with me, then go back and play, then sit with me.  Everyone LOVED her!

At the park earlier today.

Not a lot of fear in her, we've noticed...

At the Boonshoft Museum with Megs.

Locked up at the Boonshoft.  Bryan didn't throw their key away-he did for Sam's cell.  :)

Trying out Skyline Chili... noodles... but we are still not so sure she liked it.  A little different from Chinese noodles... (Cinci chili has cinnamon in it-totally different from anything I have tasted anywhere else.  You eat it over noodles, with cheese, onions, peppers, etc...  It is definitely an acquired taste.)

Medical Update: I did have her checked out by our pediatrician this past week.  The thing on her face is not a concern (yeah!), but he did not want to remove it on her first appointment there.  He did pull her lip up and showed me-she does have a bit of a palate issue.  There is a cleft that is very narrow that starts from the same area where the lip is repaired, but he said it is so narrow, it is unlikely she will need surgery.  Besides this, she looks great.  We'll head down to the Cinci Int'l Adoption Clinic next week and they'll do a complete eval down there. 

Siblings and Family Life: Zoey is getting along well with Sam, Megs and Jenna.  We had a bit of a turf war the first couple days, which continues on occasion-the older girls want her as their own.  I had to remind them that she is not a PET, but a little sister.  In a couple months I am sure that I will hear them scream for me to get Zoey away from them, but for now they are doting on her and she is soaking up every last bit of attention.  Despite the girls trying to win her attention, she is really gravitating toward Sam.  He is the closest in age, and a really likeable kid.  He doesn't want to compete for attention-he just wants to play.  She goes to his room in the mornings when she gets up-she plays with his toys til he awakens. 

Zoey is really active and social, but she is a pretty laid back, funny kid.  She also has limits to her tolerance, and she will let you know when she's had enough.   Probably the funniest thing I have witnessed is an interaction between her and Megs on Easter-during the peak of the turf war.  Megs was in her face a little too much and kept trying to get her attention.  Zoey had apparently had had enough, and pointed her finger at Megs and spouted off about 2-3 sentences in some pretty harsh, loud Mandarin.  She pulled her finger back and marched off in the other direction.  Megs was stunned-but she started laughing.  She understood the message and went inside the house.  She is still laughing about how "Zoey told me off in Chinese, and boy did she let me have it!"  Now she has mastered English: "Stop it, Jenna!"  Very cute.

With us-she is a doll.  I wouldn't say that we are at the "mom and dad are the greatest thing in the world" level to her quite yet, but we are definitely getting there.  We see progress every day.  I had to go to work for several hours on Thursday and when I got home I got a squeal, then multiple kisses.  (Insert big cheesy grin here.)  On Friday night, we went over to my sister's house.  Zoey played with her cousins-really played.  They hung out by the Fisher Price kitchen, played ball, and ran around.  At the end of the evening she crawled up onto Bryan's lap.  Last night she was very cuddly with me-she snuggled up to me several times, and even laid in the crook of my arm.  I get huge smiles when she sees me for the first time every morning.  I keep waiting for her to start screaming and asking when she is going back to China-but so far, so good.  She really seems happy to be here.  And we are thrilled.

We have had some testing here and there, but she IS three years old.  If you can convey the rule to her, she will usually follow it.  We have used Google Translate a bit when we need to explain something to her, and so far she has towed the line.  She also has a quick recovery-doesn't get too stressed out by anything and can move from being pouty to being hilarious in a matter of seconds.  She just moves on.

Food Issues: She is trying everything I put in front of her.  She doesn't like everything-but she is doing pretty well.  The milk is the biggest issue-that is a struggle.  I keep offering it to her-I am going to try and heat it up, since they drink it hot in China (Chloe's mom just reminded me of this and I will give it a try).  For now, she loves yogurt and is doing pretty well with cheese, so she is getting a fair amount of calcium.  I also have to say that she gets the whole eating-as-a-family thing.  I am thinkin' I have the foster family to thank for that.  She'll sit at the table and joke and laugh with us.  She does want to leave the table early and run around.  But hey-she is THREE.  I suppose I can cut her some slack.

Sleep Issues: Yes.  We have some.  The first couple nights she had to sleep by herself, she woke up around midnight - one of those nights we found her on the couch and brought her in with us.  She does go back to sleep after she wakes up, which really makes the difference.  The other night she ended up sleeping in Jenna's room.  We have let her sleep with us a couple times.  That doesn't work all that well-she snores very, very loudly.  She also spins in her sleep.   But, she is very cuddly, and I really like the snuggling.  A couple nights ago after we gave her a bath (whereby she put her face ALL THE WAY in the water about 5 times-that is huge progress), Sam and I read her some books and it came time to really go to sleep.  She kept repeating something over and over.  I took our Chinese for Adoptive Parents book (this is essential-spells things out phonetically) and asked her if she was scared-she said no.  I used the Google Translate to tell her it was time for bed, please stay in your bed, and if you are scared, come to mom's room.  Sam offered her one of his IKEA bulldogs that he cannot sleep without-it was so sweet.  She shook her head yes to Sam and tucked the dog in next to her.  This is only a twin bed, but it looked like this: Pooh, Elmo, Zoey, bulldog and crazy goat, all tucked under the covers.  She actually went down pretty easily-no hysterics that time.  It was the cutest thing.  She slept the whole night in her room that night.  We have had several of these nights.  We are just taking it day by day. 

The Dogs:  She still hates them, but is getting better.  She makes it a point to pet them and point out to me that she is petting them.  When she's had enough and the dogs are out, we stick her on the kitchen counter-she is the master of the remote control car from that vantage point.  Very funny.

Really, we are so blessed.  She is a doll.  She is funny, happy, playful and pretty outgoing.  A little shy at first-which is fine because she'll cling to me when we are around new faces, and I LOVE that. But she does well in different situations and is starting to really look to Bryan and I for assurance, comfort, and/or just a quick check-in.  Already we have noticed how quickly she is fitting in, and how it just seems like she is meant to be with us - they say you get the child who is meant for you.  I think they are right. 

Day 17. Finally Home

Not a bad trip home, if I say so myself.  We were at the airport early to check in and load our 4 tons of luggage onto the belts.  No issues through security, and we waited at the gate for less than an hour. 

Not good when you need a cart for the remainder of your carry on luggage. 

Bye bye to Asia.

So we went through security at Hong Kong upon entering the security check point.  We also went through security a second time just before boarding the plane-in the ramp down to the plane.  We had to dump out all of the drinks we had just purchased from the shop outside the gate.  Odd.

The plane ride went well.  I was surprised.  She took a 3 hour nap, then I did give her a little melatonin later and she slept for a couple more hours.  She played on the ipad, watched a movie or 2, ate, snacked, and we traveled back and forth to the bathroom 5 or 6 times. 
FYI-United provides smaller children with really, really good meals... wonder if we adults can opt for these...

In Newark airport-we're #1, says the newest American citizen!

We went through immigration at Newark.  We were directed to a back room where we waited as someone went through "The Brown Envelope" that I couriered to the US (and did not open, even barely touched).  After 20 minutes, we were called up to the desk and handed Zoey's passport.  They said it was okay to go.  So we sprinted (well, as fast as you can sprint with a toddler and 6 carry ons) to the customs counter, grabbed our bags and re-checked them to Dayton.  Then, of course, we had to go through security again.  We made it to the gate with about 5 minutes to spare, thanks to the fact that the plane was late. 

Touch down at Dayton. 

A larger Elmo was supposed to be greeting Zoey as well.  Crosley and Emmett decided it would make for a great tug o'war toy.

Welcome Home Zoey!

And the kids made her a lollipop tree.  How would they ever know she likes lollipops??

Megs made and decorated the cake all by herself!

Gotta love Dorothy Lane Market-designer cookies for our celebration!

Ba ba was very excited to see her. 

Sam said, "She is going to fit in our family just fine."  So far, so good.

Five minutes at home, and they are all running around like maniacs.  She didn't gravitate only towards Jenna. She let Megs and Sam take her upstairs and downstairs, and show her the bonus rooms, basement and her room.  She loved Sam's matchbox car racing ramp thingamabob.   

The V for Victory-I think we all win.  Of course, right now they all wanted to camp out in Jenna's room together.  I fought a little-why bring on the sleep issues instead of trying to minimize them.  But they all look so cute.  They are all excited-even Zoey.  We'll work on the sleep thing tomorrow.  We are going to let them enjoy being a family first.