On November 8, 2011, we received this photo:
Six months ago TODAY we met this little cutie:
And today, I took this pic:
Hard to believe that 6 months ago today Jenna and I were riding the bus to the Civic Building in Hefei, Anhui, waiting in the room, filling out paperwork and noticing a shy little girl looking at us-looking so scared. (Okay, and I will confess, in the crazy clothes that she was wearing and with that haircut, I recognized the face but thought she was a little boy when I first saw her...) We were a little terrified right along with her, but also excited, overjoyed, anxious, concerned and elated, all at the same time. I vaguely recall moments during those first few days where I questioned what to do with a child who is almost 4-what did they like to do? What did they like to eat? How much sleep did they need? Which name are we supposed to call her? How many layers of clothing do I need to put on her this time?? Will she understand me? How are we going to live through the plane ride home? Is she going to stay in bed? Will she need a diaper at night? Will she suddenly change in terms of personality once the newness wears off? Is she going to cry or scream when we go out? What happens if I run out of lollipops???
Six months later-so much has changed. We have a thriving, vivacious, amazing little girl running around taking control of the house. She likes order, but loves spontaneity. She enjoys ramen noodles (they are still her favorite food, she claims), but loves fruit snacks, Indian food, black beans, buffalo chicken salad and chocolate milk. She is a rule follower, a quick learner, and she has the sweetest disposition of any 4 year old child I have ever met. To be blunt-the transition has gone well and we are so blessed and lucky to have her as part of our family.
In terms of her age-she is 4. In terms of our family, she is 6 months. Yes-we did miss out on 3 and a half years of her life, but we've been able to enjoy a different range of "firsts" for her. First time off the diving board, first Family Fun Day at our local swim club, first day at school, first field trip, first vacation as a family, first Cubs game, first birthday WITH US, first time to a pumpkin patch, first bonfire, first time writing her name on the wall (yes-our bathroom wall), and first time meeting all of her family members and friends. Lately, we are trying to describe Halloween to her, and why the embroidered spiders
on the table runner aren't scarey, why the fake eyeballs in the hurricane are cool, why pumpkins should not be dropped from the top of the stairs to the bottom, and that if she dresses like Elmo at
the end of October she'll be able to run around the neighborhood and
collect candy from complete strangers. (In my efforts to describe it to Zoey, it
makes me think there is something inherently wrong with this custom,
but the kids {and I} love it nonetheless.)
She is working on beefing up her English vocabulary, learning her letters, mastering her numbers, learning appropriate slang, picking up dances from Meghan and Jenna (I will try and upload "the Bernie" dance - too flippin' cute), going to church, playing with kids of all ages and backgrounds-some who are also adopted from China. She loves to sing pop songs at the top of her lungs ("but you didn't have to CUT ME OFF..."). She is perfecting her scootering, gearing up to ride her bike without training wheels, playing badminton, shooting hoops and learning how to swim. She is loving school - last weekend I got the "Mom-why you not tell me how fun school is??" And, I have to add, Little Miss Chatterbox feels very much at home-she talks back to me, fights with her sisters and brother, yells at us, screams "yuck" and runs the other way when food does not look appetizing to her, and gives the pouty lip/crocodile tear combo when we suggest she should sleep in her room. This morning, when we left with only her pink Converse shoes, she got increasingly upset as we left the neighborhood. By the time we arrived at school, I had received a couple "I don't like you mom." I will admit I was a little upset at first, but as the day went on I realized that not only does she feel comfortable enough to say that, she probably has really now officially made that transition to "one of my own." (lol)
With this also brings some sadness-she is losing (if not having lost already) her native language (we have a tutor who is not making a whole lot of progress helping her retain her Mandarin), and still she talks a lot about China (or "Made in China" as she refers to it). She talks daily about her foster family-we have been in contact with the foster family, and they are still devastated (we try to email them pictures and updates every week or two, and they tell me it is easier this way-keeping in touch and knowing that she is loved by us).
And, as a little plug here for Love Without Boundaries, we have discovered that her medical care while in China was great. The kids and I are trying to put together a little fundraiser for LWB to send some money back to continue their wonderful non-profit efforts, and if any of you have any extra money burning a hole in your pocket, they accept donations of any type and size.
So-to make a long story short, we have learned so much during the last year, especially these last 6 months. We have learned how brave a little 4-year old girl can be, how amazing the miracle of adoption is, and how quickly and fiercely you can truly love someone who does not share your same genetic traits. We now know that even if you don't speak the same language, you can communicate-love, hunger, thirst, humor, sadness, irritation, playfulness, happiness and fear (of being alone in your own bedroom at nighttime, apparently) are universal.
Happy 6 months with us, Zoey-you have made our family complete.
